Distance: 131.7 miles / 212.0 km
Elevation: 9,006 feet / 2,745 m
Time: 13 hours and 6 minutes (9 hours and 59 minutes cycling)
The Flashy Venetian is the permanent version of the Venetian Nights audax calendar event. The ride is 212km in length and starts near Macclesfield, Cheshire. It runs in an anti-clockwise direction and also visits parts of Staffordshire and Derbyshire. There are three fairly distinct portions to the ride, which gives it a lot of variety.
The flat Cheshire Lanes
The first 45 miles of the ride is mostly flat, on quiet Cheshire lanes. Not long in to the ride, I was lucky not to have my head taken off by a rope that had been placed across the breadth of the road. I didn’t really think much of it and dipped underneath – this turned out to be a bad idea. I was soon mixed up in some sort of mass cow migration exercise. It was quite fraught and the cows were not happy to see me. The farmer shared the same sentiments, and gave me a bit of a bollocking.
After that unpleasant experience, I reached the radio telescopes at Jodrell Bank. I can remember visiting this place on a school trip maybe 20 years ago. Unlike most things from my childhood, it’s still here! I don’t reckon there’s any real science behind this but the radio waves definitely made the cows friendlier. I managed to catch a selfie with one. If only the farmer’s cows earlier on were like this!
The Climb up to The Roaches
After skirting around the outskirts of Crewe, the hills started thick and fast. On more than five occasions my heart rate exceeded 170bpm. Whilst I can cope with this, having to repeat the feat so regularly is not good for my long term endurance.
There was a checkpoint at Tittesworth Water – 103km in to the ride. After this, the steepest and most significant hills of the ride were coming up; The Roaches and the road up to Flash. The former was really tough and I spent over 2 minutes above 180bpm – peaking to 185. From past experience, I know that using up this amount of energy is bad news. Luckily for me, there was an ice cream man at the summit. I managed to hoover up a 99 in record time – I didn’t even feel how cold it was. The views from the top were spectacular – in fact, I could even see Jodrell Bank despite it being 20 miles away.
The next climb was to Flash – the highest village in Britain at 1518ft above sea level. On a regular ride this climb wouldn’t have been a problem – but my legs were pretty empty. Thankfully the next checkpoint was in Flash village itself. I gorged on a tuna sandwich, pork pie, caramel shortcake, strawberry milkshake and white coffee.
The off-road and unpaved High Peaks Trail
The next checkpoint was in Matlock, Derbyshire, just over 20 miles away. Six miles of this was on the High Peaks Trail – an off road, gravel path (formerly a railway line). Even when the High Peak Railway was in it’s heyday, there was only one passenger train service a day. It is mostly flat, which was good news for me. The weather had taken a bit of a dive and it had started to rain. At least this meant that the path was mostly deserted, and I didn’t have to snake around too many walkers. The only negative to the trail was that there were a lot of gates – having to stop and get off to open each of them is quite frustrating. I can’t imagine they’re particularly safe in these pandemic times either. At least I had gloves!
The trail had given me a false sense of optimism that I was doing well. In Matlock I made a bit of an error and only picked up a packet of crisps and a peperami. I should have known better, but I would be retuning to the trail for 12 miles on the return journey. This gave me the false impression that it would be quite easy on the way back – but it was far from it. The climb back up to the trail was long and steep, and I was starting to struggle.
I noticed a sign in Matlock celebrating 100 years of Venetian Nights. I don’t know what that is, nor how it relates to Matlock. There seems to be a lot of chippies and even a cable car (Heights of Abraham) – neither of which I remember in Venice. If Venetian Nights is anything like Phoenix Nights, I need to give it a watch I think.
Back to Macclesfield
I needed lights after the trail as it was getting dark. I naively assumed that once I was back on the road it was mostly downhill to the finish. What I did not consider was that I needed to clear The Cat and Fiddle climb – and my energy store was at rock bottom. My bad choice of food in Matlock was biting me hard, but luckily I had just about enough food with me to get me over the end and back home again.
I don’t reckon I have been – nor will in the future – be so happy to see Macclesfield again.
If you wish to ride The Flashy Venetian, you may do here. Entry is £3.50 if you’re a member of Audax UK or Cycling UK; otherwise, it’s £6.50.